You might be a redneck if…….
• Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal.
• You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
• You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.
• Your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
• Your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
• Your momma doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her a_ _.
• You stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue Ellen to walk by.
• None of your shirts cover your stomach.
• Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
• The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.
• You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.
• You prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
• Birds are attracted to your beard.
• Your idea of a seven-course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.
• You go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
• You've ever spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.
• Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
• You're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing "I Will Always Love You".
• You grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
• Your Momma would rather go to the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
• You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
• You've ever hit a deer with your car...deliberately.
• You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
• Your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.
• Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
• Your Junior/Senior Prom had a day care.
• You move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.
• You mow your lawn and find a car.
• You can spit without opening your mouth.
• You go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
• You are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.
• You participate in the "who can spit tobacco the farthest contest".
• Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes and a jacket and grabbing a flashlight.
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Site Disclaimer About | Contact | GuestbookYou might be a redneck if…….
• You use your fishing license as a form of I.D.
• You use a 55 Chevy as a guest house.
• Your back porch is bigger than your house.
• There is more oil in your cap than in your car.
• You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
• A full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
• An expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.
• You think Old Yeller is a movie about your brother's tooth.
• You watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
• Your favorite pick-up line is "Nice tooth!"
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